Emotional Connecting With My Friend

On my transitional journey, I am continually reminded of the importance of emotional connections in life, especially in my life.  Connections with myself, with my wife, with my nuclear and extended family, with friends, and with Deity, are what make my life full and meaningful.  And in the absence of feeling connected, I am left disconnected with myself and am less able to face my life.

For me, it is a mindful exercise to seek out such emotional connections.  It is a challenge to get off the merry-go-round of life and find time to be with another.  When I do, I feel whole and empowered to embrace life to its fullest.

Not every intention to connect yields such a desired outcome.  Sometimes life gets in my way.  Sometimes I simply am not in the mood to connect and want to be alone.

Sometimes, taking responsibility to fill my need, I make it a point to seek out connection, and I can be successful. But then occasionally, having intentionally put myself in a possible connective environment, the emotional connection occurs serendipitously.  Such was the case a few months ago when I spent time with my good friend, Bill, on a trip to Utah.

I spent two nights as his guest, and because I had no agenda but to spend time with my friend of over 45 years, we talked for four hours about what was meaningful in his life and what was meaningful in mine.

Because of the length and depth of our friendship, we historically don't usually talk much about what I would label superficial topics.  On this occasion during this nighttime talk, we continued our habit of talking about things that matter.  We shared insights we both have gained into ourselves and others around us.  We talked about challenges we each have faced and are currently facing.  We discussed specific concerns, frustrations, challenges, and doubts.  And we also talked about people and ideas that have brought and continue to bring us happiness and contentment.

We felt completely at ease with each other, comfortable that whatever we said would not be judged or ridiculed.  I said some things that I have not told anyone but my wife, and he told me some things that he had not told anyone other than Janice, his spouse.  It was safe to be so vulnerable with one another.

As the hours passed, toward the end of the four hours that had gone by fairly quickly,  Janice joined us, choosing not to say anything but to merely witness.  It felt fine for her to listen in.  After witnessing for some considerable time these two friends being so open and vulnerable, she finally spoke up, giving voice to what she had been feeling, "I have felt that the two of you have an uncommon, profoundly special relationship."

Flying home to California the next day, I felt refreshed.  I felt very much alive.  It was as if "batteries" inside of me had been recharged.   I kept reflecting on this occurrence of emotionally connecting in a significant way with another man, and I made the decision to have conversations more often with Bill--which I have done.  It was good to have once again experienced such a singular connection, and I am grateful for it!