Getting Out of the Triangle
Inevitably,
most people experience unresolved issues from their childhood as
adults, and even the emotionally healthiest people might recognize
themselves in the Triangle. The real problem, however, is when living
in The Drama Triangle becomes a way of life, and is how we cope with
life. By recognizing drama, people can discover healthier ways to get
their needs met.
But living within the drama makes a person feel less vulnerable--either consciously or subconsciously--because it offers a sense of control. Acting the part of victim, rescuer, or persecutor enables
a person to avoid the truth about themselves and others, and covers up
deep-seated fears and emotions covered up for years.
To
move out of The Drama Triangle, a person must be very honest with
themselves, which is liberating but painful. It takes being honest with
others and establishing new boundaries with them, at the risk of being
criticized, blamed, or rejected which can cause conflict to the person
attempting to be honest. This person might also be abandoned or left
alone, the two main reasons why many buckle under and choose to stay in
the drama.
As someone ventures into the unknown world outside of the Triangle, they can experience great fear. That person needs to believe in this new course of action and that they are capable of making the change. That person needs to have faith that
whatever the outcome is of their new healthy principles and boundaries,
they will be fine in the end. That person will learn to be accountable
and responsible for their actions and behaviors, no longer needing to
use the roles in the Triangle as a crutch.
If The Drama Triangle is driven to a great degree by emotion, it is really how children behave, as was referred to in the opening of this article. Such behavior is immature and childlike. The "antidote" then is to get into an adult frame of mind. Adults usually are more logical with an ability to reason with sound principles as they deal with life's experiences. When the adult part of us is in charge, we are more able to acknowledge the emotions we are feeling, and then we logically work through our fears. When the child part is in charge, we allow our fears to govern us.
